Ways To An End

Ways To An End
By Joeysguy

On the day that I lost my wife
I stopped caring about my own life
Because of my sleep disorder it may happen in bed
I might stop breathing and wind up dead
A car going through the stop sign onto my street from Squire 
That could be another way that I could expire
Maybe from pains in my chest
And I go to the hospital for a test
Or the next time I fall off the ladder on my head
The EMT comes and says that I’m dead
Or just one of those big trees
When it falls under a winters breeze
A really bad accident with my car
And EMT can’t get to me to give CPR
Or a boulder coming down from a hill
Or just maybe one night from an extra pill
I could be in my car one night
When out of the dark comes a light
I’m driving down the roadway
And that light is moving fast and coming my way
I scream out that I’m going to die
Crash into the windshield was a freaking firefly 

The Kiss

The Kiss
By Joeysguy
Meeting for the first time under the moonlight
I leaned over and kissed her on that summer night

That kiss was in a loving way
It led to us seeing each other every day

That was how our feelings were started
I went into the relationship wholehearted

Skipping past the years that have gone by
To a time of now that brings a tear from my eye 

I saw her when I looked through the door
She was passed out on the bathroom floor

I grabbed the phone and called nine one one
The operator told me what must be done

I was giving her mouth to mouth with my breath 
Trying to revive her and hoping to keep her from death

The ambulance came and took her away
At the hospital she died that very day

I was with her as she laid on the table
I was broken and very unstable

It was so hard leaving her and walking away
The last kiss, I think it was that day

When The Light Goes Out

When The Light Goes Out
By Joeysguy



Lighting a candle helps me to see more

I see things I didn’t see before




Just little things that I couldn’t see

Some now have meaning to me




In the stillness of air, why does the flame flicker

It moves from side to side and looks bigger




I can feel the warmth of the candle and see it glow

As the wax melts the flame would grow




When day ends and night falls

The candles shadow is on the walls




I light the candles for my wife

Another way of honoring our life




My wife’s pictures would shimmer and shine

In my mind to me she is still mine




The candle flames can be very bright

To me the flame dances when I look at the light




That dancing light is what I see

I want to think that it’s dancing for me




I will be with my wife, I have no doubt

One day when the light goes out

Strength In Numbers

Strength In Numbers
By Joeysguy

A few years back I joined a group of strangers

I went there looking for answers


To join here was such a high cost

It was with a piece of my heart I had lost


That cost was my losing my wife

All these strangers here also lost someone from their life


Joining the group we all paid the dues

With a life of someone we did lose


Nobody thinks of being a member here

That first day can be hard to share


We fight our emotions most everyday

Our grief or tears can get in our way


Life has become different in many ways

Just to do something might take days


We all had come here with grief

Where here looking for some kind of relief


Even though we can be weak and cry

Time shows that we can get by


This is where some of us belong

Our time together helps to make us strong
　

Days End

Days End
By Joeysguy
Tomorrow will become a today

Today will become a yesterday

It feels like it was just a yesterday

Since my wife passed away

With my wife I had much more yesterday

I lost my wife, now I have less today That day I also should have passed away

One of my today’s will be my last day

Every tomorrow brings me closer to an end of my life

With another day that goes by, I’ll be with my wife

Living With The Pain

Living With The Pain

By Joeysguy

On that day that my wife had died

One of my thoughts was suicide



The pain I had from losing my wife

To stop my pain I thought to end my life




I didn’t want to hear anyone explain

I just wanted to put an end to my pain




To take my life I felt no fear

I didn’t even think of who would care




Our dogs were waiting at the house

My fear was to go back home without my spouse




The pain of losing my kids mother and my wife

I had second thoughts as to taking my life




Losing their mother we all cried

They would have been devastated if I chose suicide




They may have thought that I loved them less

If I would have put an end to my pain and distress




With all my pain and sorrow

It’s hard to face an empty tomorrow




She has saved my life many times in bed

It’s also her who puts the poems into my head




Still watching over my life

My Angel, my wife


　


　

Reflections

Reflections
By Joeysguy

When my kids were young they would run around

You always new where they were just by the sound




Someone would bring home a dog or a cat

One daughter even had a pet rat




With everything my wife was at my side

Until that horrible day that she died




I’m looking at a picture, that was our wedding day

I can’t remember all of the words we did say




This picture shows our marriage sealed with a kiss

My tears are a reminder, I will never again have this




With my wife gone and my kids grown

My dogs are gone and I live alone




I wish my wife walked through the door

So I could hold her and kiss her once more




In my house I’m always seeing a figure

It can look smaller but it’s never bigger




I see this figure in every room

It looks at me with the face of gloom




I’ve seen this figure just a short time in my life

Tell me figure are you my wife




The figure speaks and I know this voice

Figure your not my choice




The figure is in everything that has a shine

It’s a reflection that is always mine