I Do, But Now Do I

I Do, But Now Do I
By Joeysguy

I gave up being single and free
To have the love of Joey
I proposed  and she said yes I will marry you
On our wedding day we both said I do
After so many years I lost you
Not knowing now what do I do
Why do I hurt so bad
Why do I feel so mad
How do I ever go on
I can’t get passed you being gone
Do I give your stuff away
Do I move or do I stay
Do I remove my wedding band
Do I take it off or move it to the other hand
I feel people don’t understand what I’m going through
Until it happens to them they have no clue
Together we started with the words I do
I hate this going on without you
Do I ever stop with the tears
I do love you, and for the rest of my years

When The Light Goes Out

When The Light Goes Out
By Joeysguy   
          
Lighting a candle helps me to see more
I see things I didn’t see before 
Just little things that I couldn’t see
Some now have meaning to me
In the stillness of air, why does the flame flicker
It moves from side to side and looks bigger
I can feel the warmth of the candle and see it glow
As the wax melts the flame would grow
When day ends and night falls
The candles shadow is on the walls
I light the candles for my wife
Another way of honoring our life
My wife’s pictures would shimmer and shine 
In my mind to me she is still mine
The candle flames can be very bright
To me the flame dances when I look at the light
That dancing light is what I see    
I want to think that it’s dancing for me
I will be with my wife, I have no doubt
One day when the light goes out

Ways To An End

Ways To An End
By Joeysguy

On the day that I lost my wife
I stopped caring about my own life
Because of my sleep disorder it may happen in bed
I might stop breathing and wind up dead
A car going through the stop sign onto my street from Squire 
That could be another way that I could expire
Maybe from pains in my chest
And I go to the hospital for a test
Or the next time I fall off the ladder on my head
The EMT comes and says that I’m dead
Or just one of those big trees
When it falls under a winters breeze
A really bad accident with my car
And EMT can’t get to me to give CPR
Or a boulder coming down from a hill
Or just maybe one night from an extra pill
I could be in my car one night
When out of the dark comes a light
I’m driving down the roadway
And that light is moving fast and coming my way
I scream out that I’m going to die
Crash into the windshield was a freaking firefly 

The Kiss

The Kiss
By Joeysguy
Meeting for the first time under the moonlight
I leaned over and kissed her on that summer night

That kiss was in a loving way
It led to us seeing each other every day

That was how our feelings were started
I went into the relationship wholehearted

Skipping past the years that have gone by
To a time of now that brings a tear from my eye 

I saw her when I looked through the door
She was passed out on the bathroom floor

I grabbed the phone and called nine one one
The operator told me what must be done

I was giving her mouth to mouth with my breath 
Trying to revive her and hoping to keep her from death

The ambulance came and took her away
At the hospital she died that very day

I was with her as she laid on the table
I was broken and very unstable

It was so hard leaving her and walking away
The last kiss, I think it was that day

When The Light Goes Out

When The Light Goes Out
By Joeysguy



Lighting a candle helps me to see more

I see things I didn’t see before




Just little things that I couldn’t see

Some now have meaning to me




In the stillness of air, why does the flame flicker

It moves from side to side and looks bigger




I can feel the warmth of the candle and see it glow

As the wax melts the flame would grow




When day ends and night falls

The candles shadow is on the walls




I light the candles for my wife

Another way of honoring our life




My wife’s pictures would shimmer and shine

In my mind to me she is still mine




The candle flames can be very bright

To me the flame dances when I look at the light




That dancing light is what I see

I want to think that it’s dancing for me




I will be with my wife, I have no doubt

One day when the light goes out

Strength In Numbers

Strength In Numbers
By Joeysguy

A few years back I joined a group of strangers

I went there looking for answers


To join here was such a high cost

It was with a piece of my heart I had lost


That cost was my losing my wife

All these strangers here also lost someone from their life


Joining the group we all paid the dues

With a life of someone we did lose


Nobody thinks of being a member here

That first day can be hard to share


We fight our emotions most everyday

Our grief or tears can get in our way


Life has become different in many ways

Just to do something might take days


We all had come here with grief

Where here looking for some kind of relief


Even though we can be weak and cry

Time shows that we can get by


This is where some of us belong

Our time together helps to make us strong
　

Days End

Days End
By Joeysguy
Tomorrow will become a today

Today will become a yesterday

It feels like it was just a yesterday

Since my wife passed away

With my wife I had much more yesterday

I lost my wife, now I have less today That day I also should have passed away

One of my today’s will be my last day

Every tomorrow brings me closer to an end of my life

With another day that goes by, I’ll be with my wife