Guilt

Guilt

By Michael A Gelb

That day when my wife passed out on the floor
I didn’t know the feelings I would endure

My wife laying unconscious, not a moan
I called for help yelling on the phone

I feel guilt that I may have failed my wife
I probably could have done more in her life

When I gave her clothing away
That was a hard and painful day

Over 46 years of wearing my wedding band
It was so hard to remove it from my hand

Both rings together on the same chain
Hanging from my neck doesn’t ease the pain

The rings were a symbol of love and a married life
Now the finger shows no visible marks of a marriage to my wife

I fear the loss of memory someday
Keeping my wife’s memory is something I pray

All the years of the life we built
Now in my thoughts I feel some guilt

I’ll always feel guilt of that last day
Could I have done more, I can’t say

The pain and guilt that I feel
That is something that will never heal

Every night I lay in bed
I face the pillow that use to hold my wife’s head

All my days and the tomorrows
They all end with sorrows

I wish my wife would stop watching over me
And just let my sleep disorder take me

50

50
By Michael A Gelb

On April 7th we had a small wedding
It was a life with you I was getting

50 years ago you became my wife
I said I do for the rest of my life

In all our years I never cried
I do it now since you died

At night is the loneliness
All the time is the emptiness

I wanted to get a new engagement ring for you
Maybe even repeat the words, I do

The guilt I felt because of no goodbye
At the same time I also wanted to die

I loved you so many years of my life
I will always love you as my wife

I’m still finding things hard to do
These were easy things for you

Until again it’s you and me
Happy 50th anniversary

Forever

Forever
By Michael A Gelb

My mind knows how long my wife’s been away
In my heart it feels like just a day

The meaning of closure to me
Is closing the door behind my wife and me

At night when I go to bed
I have thoughts in my head

If after I turn off the light
I should pass during the night

If I should pass during the day
The same words I would say

I wish it’s my wife that I see
Looking at me

I’ll be happy and calm
When she takes me by the arm

We’ll go off together
This time it will be forever

Friends

Friends
By Michael A Gelb

When we come to a meeting
We are welcomed with a warm greeting

We come together because of a loss and pain
At our meetings, always something to gain

We try to help a friend
With hope and talks right to the end

This is a place you may see tears
We all have those fears

Where here to help our heart and our mind
All the people here are so kind

We talk about our loves, the good and bad
Sometimes we may get very sad

We listen to what someone would say
Someone may cry and that’s okay

One of our own had started a group, BSG
Bereavement Social Group come and see

Life is to live and then we die
It’s those in betweens that can make us cry

Dance on a Cloud

Dance on a cloud
By Michael A Gelb

My wife and I met in the city of New York
With touching of hands a kiss and some talk

After years of marriage and children she died
With no goodbyes I broke down and cried

Our wedding bands are no longer apart
Joined together they hang near my heart

My wife in heaven waits for me
I don’t know how long it will be

For as long as I’m earthly bound
I hope my wife’s spirit is around

Looking at the white clouds up above
I think of my wife who I love

Clouds look like spirits in the sky
Raindrops could be spirits that cry

To continue with romance
To hold her, love her and dance

To dance on a cloud in the sky
It’s now my dream for my wife and I

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve
By Michael A Gelb

We would hide presents through the year
All around the house every where

That night we said, kids it’s time for bed
Let thoughts of Santa fill your head

I helped wrap gifts with my wife
To put happiness in our kids life

Under the tree went the gifts we had
Some from Santa, some from mom and dad

Christmas eve was such a joy
Putting together a bike or toy

I miss those Christmas eve nights
My wife, little kids and a tree with lights

For me now on December 24
Christmas eve it’s not the same anymore

My Old Boy

My Old Boy
By Michael A Gelb

I’ve written about a little dog that I had
But little Maggie was really bad

I had to return her, she was to much for me
All over the house she would poop and pee

So again it was just my old Bandit and me
His health getting worse even just to see

After I lost my wife
He helped me go on with my life

Then I had to face that tearful day
To put him down was so hard to say

I still look for him in his usual place
The rooms are empty I don’t see his face

More pain and more tears
It hasn’t stopped these past years

He gave me loyalty and love
Now he’s also in heaven above